grief

It has been nearly 5 months since My husband went to be with Jesus. I still awaken in tears and go to sleep in tears. I know the "normal" grieving process is from 6 months to 1 year, but each individual grieves in their own way and in their own time period. I have tried to give his things away, but each time I put something in a donation box I have a panic attack and cannot finish it. I did give my sons and grandsons some of his personal belongings I thought he would like them to have. We lived on social security so, we are not wealthy, but he had a few things to pass on.

For the past 32 years I have held the title of "wife". Now, after my husband went home to be with Jesus several months ago I am  titled "widow". This is an extremely difficult transition to deal with. Although I am still the much loved daughter of the Most High God, it is very devastating to say the least. I awaken each morning and he is not there; I go to bed each night and he is not there; I start to prepare dinner, when I feel like eating, and he is not there to "help me" in the kitchen. I feel like half of me is missing and I am not me anymore. I still cannot go to the grocery store without breaking down and having panic attacks often.