It has been 6 months today that my husband, Charlie, died. Needless to say, it has been an upsetting and sad day. Recently things have gone from bad to worse in many respects, but God!, as the saying goes.

   I was in the shower and a scripture popped in my head ( that often happens) concerning marriage after our spouse dies. It says that "we are neither married or given in marriage in heaven, upon the resurrection, that we are like God's angels" ( Mark 12:25) : Luke 20:34-36 says pretty much the same thing. It has very much added to my sorrow even though I knew that my marriage ended when my husband died. I mean, it makes perfect sense because the church, Christ's body of believers, will be His bride in the new earth and being married to someone else would be adultery. I suppose, as well, that having glorified bodies it would be hard to snuggle anyway. Charlie had to snuggle with me to be able to sleep because he was afraid; I was his security blanket.

It has been nearly 5 months since My husband went to be with Jesus. I still awaken in tears and go to sleep in tears. I know the "normal" grieving process is from 6 months to 1 year, but each individual grieves in their own way and in their own time period. I have tried to give his things away, but each time I put something in a donation box I have a panic attack and cannot finish it. I did give my sons and grandsons some of his personal belongings I thought he would like them to have. We lived on social security so, we are not wealthy, but he had a few things to pass on.

For the past 32 years I have held the title of "wife". Now, after my husband went home to be with Jesus several months ago I am  titled "widow". This is an extremely difficult transition to deal with. Although I am still the much loved daughter of the Most High God, it is very devastating to say the least. I awaken each morning and he is not there; I go to bed each night and he is not there; I start to prepare dinner, when I feel like eating, and he is not there to "help me" in the kitchen. I feel like half of me is missing and I am not me anymore. I still cannot go to the grocery store without breaking down and having panic attacks often.

Charlie went to be with Jesus & I miss him with all my heart. You don't often realize how much you actually love someone until you realize they will never walk through your door again; never snuggle with you again; will never say " I love you" again; all the everyday things we take for granted. Death is permanent & my advice is to tell those you love that you love them each time you see them. Make memories as often as you can with those you love. Take lots of pictures and videos. Record your parents and grandparents, if you are fortunate enough to still have them with you, about their lives when they were younger, or even write it down. You will truly treasure these things when they're gone. I tell my children and grandchildren I'll see them later & not goodbye.

This is a post from an Android device. It feels really nice.

There is an upside to all of the pollen that has been making us sneeze and complain about the covering of our vehicles. Simply look at these, which are the product of pollination, baby pine cones, and enjoy the wonder and beauty of nature.